Friendship Guide
The following guide is
offered to help in building relationships with others where we can have
the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ. Developing
relationships takes an effort that should be motivated by the love of
Jesus for us and others. The guide provides some helpful thoughts that
may help in building relationships.
Friendship Guide
1. Identify what people would say about the
relationship with you have with someone. Why would they say this?
2. How have you been a friend to others? Take time to list ways you have shown friendship:
3. How can you become a better friend?
Consider:
·
Could you learn
to “be a good listener”?
·
Could you
consider joining him/her in some activities, but being careful not to
compromise your faith? Examples of activities might be sharing your
hobbies, or personal interests, or just being ready to offer help in projects
they are doing. Be careful not to talk too much about
yourself. Take time to take an interest in him/her! Here is a guide that we will call a
friendship guide
4. What are some possible common interests
between you and the other person? Take time to review the following list of
ideas to help build friendships. Consider:
·
Their likes
·
Their dislikes
·
Their hobbies
·
Their goals
·
Their dreams
·
Their fears
·
Their hurts
·
Their joys
·
Their struggles
·
Common Interests
5. Are you willing to
be vulnerable and share your personal responses or feelings and opinions? To be free to do so will open yourself to
being vulnerable. In some cases, if you
are not willing to listen to different opinions it could hinder building a
relationship. However, if you are
willing to listen, that can be a form of being humble which lets people know you
are a real person.
6. Can you “be sensitive” to them in
your approach, avoiding judgment?
7. Can you “be
faithful” to follow-up, being true to your word and commitments?
8. Are you willing to
take time and not rush a friendship? It may take several years.
9. Are you willing to find ways to encourage them?
10. Will you avoid gossip at all times?
Further notes on
developing relationships:
- Relationships are built over time
- Do not jump to a spiritual encounter, prematurely-Ask the
Lord to guide you.
- Ask them if they would appreciate your to praying for them,
and if they would allow you to follow-up on your prayer for them. If
there has been an answer to prayer, they would probably be eager to share
what has happened.
- Consider taking reasonable prayer requests to the Lord, for
them. ---Unreasonable requests
sometimes come up. Don’t pray for unscriptural ones—when such a
request occurs, consider asking the Lord how to discern and pray for the
real need.
- Remember, it is important that we allow the Spirit of God to
work in the other person.
- Developing
friendships involves listening to the Lord and His Holy Spirit
- Allow the Holy Spirit to work, as you pray for God’s wisdom
and direction.
- The Lord can provide others who will pray for us, and who
will also keep us accountable in developing relationships.
- As a relationship develops, the Lord will show you how you
can find ways to minister to his/her spiritual needs. The Lord can
also help you to encourage them to meet other Christians in events they
enjoy.
Finally, as the Holy
Spirit of God works in a person’s heart, be responsive to his/her requests.
- Answer questions clearly and compassionately
- Encourage and introduce them to other Christians
- Be clear when presenting the Gospel
An important concept to
remember from this lesson is that joining together in prayer for others
provides the opportunity to bring God’s help to them—giving the opportunity to develop
relationships with others, and also helps in building relationships with people
who are not a part of the group, who may not know the Lord. It also gives the opportunity to share Jesus
with others.
Reflections:
The reflection exercise
for this lesson is an exercise of what we have learned to-date in the
course. It is intended to encourage you
to practice some of the principles we have learned which relate to prayer and
building relationship. It is possible that not everyone may be able to bring
a group together to pray. If that is so
and there is a group already praying, consider joining that group, then answers
some of the questions in the reflection.
The exercise is a
practicum to bring people together in prayer and observe how they respond to
group praying. It may take some
time to pull your observations together about praying together. Your observations should relate back to what
we have learned. Those of you who are pastors and are a part of the
class, it would be good to hear from your point of view. Those who are
not pastors, your reflective comments are also very important. To help
lay-students get started, perhaps they could ask their pastor if he/she would
welcome your bringing people together for a prayer group. If they do,
that too is an excellent opportunity to learn and observe. Sharing those
observations with others on Pray.Network, could encourage someone else in the
class. Maybe you will observe some other issues about prayer in a group that
you would like to share for discussion – that too would be helpful.
Here are some possible
ways to bring people together for prayer—consider praying for an event that
your church is having, for example:
With the help of God’s
Holy Spirit, both pastors and lay students in the course, together, can offer
their reflections and comments to the class for
discussion. Doing this, would benefit all in the course, and it will help
us have a deeper understanding of praying together. During the
exercise, we will continue with our lessons, covering the following: praying in
groups; prayer circles; looking at the power of a praying church; and
developing a prayer-culture in the church.
If you are actually
able to do this exercise, in one form or another, I pray that the Lord will
make it a meaningful exercise. For those
who cannot do the exercise, please work on the reflections below, and draw from
you past experiences in answering.
Exercise Reflection:
- How can we encourage prayer to move from inward
self-focus to outward focus on others, but not forgetting the
inward-personal need?
- What have you observed about the action of prayer helping
to build relationships?
- If you could identify critical elements in “encouraging
prayer with others”, what are they? Why do you think they are
important?
- Ask your prayer group to discuss what factors they
consider important that encourages others “to belong” to a prayer
group. -- Have the elements they have identified helped them to
reach out to others, who are not in their prayer group?
You may have other
observations--please feel free to share them. When your project is
complete, please share about it on pray.
SHARE IT -- WHILE IT IS FRESH!
If you
have any questions, please ask!
