Humility Needed When Impasse Exists in Relationships

By Lewis Turner

Every one of us, who has been wronged, would probably want the one who wronged us to come to us and say they are sorry. In reality that rarely happens. What do we do? If we just wait and wait for that action of the other coming to us, then we may find ourselves just waiting and waiting, which in reality is an impasse.

There is a way to break an impasse, but it is not the way we would like to do it. It involves God's help, and humility on our part. The first step to take is to ask God to help us look at our heart in the issue. How did we receive a problem-what affected our reaction? Though we may have been wronged, it is quite possible that our response may not have been right either. Two wrongs do not make something right. Our response should be to deal with our part before the Lord. Do not be afraid to search out counselors on that issue.

Once we deal with our reaction, we need to look in humility at how our heart received the matter.   We may have to take the time to learn how to express heart words to the other person. That can be difficult because some of us are not used to speaking heart words. Usually we attack the problem which often has the negative consequence of sparking a negative defensive reaction from the other person.

We cannot control another person's response, but we can deal with ours. Our approach should be not in judgment or correcting, but seeking forgiveness on our part for our reaction.

All this may sound opposite to what we think should be done, but my friends, it can work if it is done out of love, without judgment, but seeking mercy. When it is done from the heart with humility, it can remove a hindrance to the Lord working and the other person receiving. 

The final step is one which is seldom done, and that is to bless the other person. The Lord says to bless those who despitefully use you, and to do good unto them. Blessing works. In my life, I have found that truly blessing the other person also reduces the need to bring negative issues back up.

©2008 Lewis Turner